Battling the Troll: I Become a Deadly Flower

Work and struggle and never accept an evil that you can change.
Andre Gide

It’s been a week since I embarked on my quest to wrangle the troll into submission. Any statistician will tell you that this is too short a period to have collected significant data. But I thought I’d check in with you and share my thoughts.

My current regimen includes three doses of St. John’s Wort a day. I can’t be sure if this comes as a result of the herb, but I have been sleeping better. St. John’s Wort helps regulate serotonin levels, so that makes sense. Honestly, I was expecting a longer waiting period before anything noticeable happened. I have not experienced any side effects, so I’ll stick with it. There are two things I’ve since learned about St. John’s Wort, as well: 1) don’t take it if you are taking prescription depression medication. If you are about to start medication, advise your doctor! Most depression medication also influences your serotonin, so be sure to let your physician adjust the dosage correctly. 2) If you have been taking St. John’s Wort, you need to taper it out; no quitting cold turkey. Wasn’t expecting that.

As I currently exercise six days a week, I haven’t been too stringent about the yoga. If I don’t exercise for a few days, I get antsy, but that’s been independent of the depression issue. When I remember, I do a few poses in front of my window in the morning. The room faces east, and there is just something about getting those early morning rays of sunshine.

I will admit to slacking on the meditation two days in a row this week, with the result that yesterday afternoon, I had a very sudden and most unwelcome anxiety attack (we have elderly pets with health issues, and that triggered it, apparently). I do open ended meditation because I have the time, but it really takes very little time to ground yourself every day. I have been practicing from the book “30 Days of Meditation” by Inbar Shahar which I very highly recommend if you are interested in learning more, but don’t want a lot of esoteric mumbo-jumbo. Each week focuses on something different. You will learn a variety of mediation techniques and have at your disposal daily meditations of varying lengths, the shortest being three minutes long. There are also video version available but I cannot see those on my Kindle, and when accessed from Ms Shahar’s website, these videos cost money (the bundle for around US$ 4, which isn’t much). However, as the instructions are pretty straight forward, I haven’t really needed video. I purchased the Kindle version of the book for US$ 3 and consider that a wise investment.

On the days I do meditate, I feel more even tempered and grounded. Grounding is a term you will yourself confronted with frequently when approaching depression. Although I do not consider myself a flighty person by any means, consciously seeking to ground myself seems to help. It also leads to funny images. Today’s meditation asked me to imagine roots sprouting from my base chakra (that’s about as esoteric as it’ll get), connecting me to the earth. Now, as I go about my daily chores, I imagine trailing these roots like some slightly stunted triffid.

Key term for this week: finding balance.


2 thoughts on “Battling the Troll: I Become a Deadly Flower

  1. I was reading you were taking St. John’s wort, it definitely has advantages over the chemical medicines. It has been used for centuries in countries like Latvia where I am originally from. You just really have to watch other stuff since Hypericum perforatum or St. Hon’s wort has quite significant interactions with many kinds of medicines. Good luck!

    • Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate them 🙂 One thing I keep having to remind myself of is that St John’s Wort also makes you more sensitive to sun, so no more skipping the sun screen! I spend a lot of time near our pond, which makes it worse, with the water reflecting light as it does.

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