Rubbing Out the Darkness

Inner peace is a currency that is hard to come by. Recent weeks have shown that to be painfully true. Some years ago, I experienced my first bout of depression; it was unpleasant but didn’t last too long. This last one, however, was what we colloquially call a humdinger. I’ve never had suicidal thoughts but I can understand why eventually one would come to the conclusion that anything, including dying, would be preferable to the daily battle with the troll. What brings it on, I haven’t got any idea, but I will start observing that a bit closer. With me, it might well be a hormonal issue. Since Sunday’s full moon passed, I have felt better.

In any case, I refuse to just lie down, count to a billion and wait for this thing to pass. Fortunately, I have an arsenal of zen weapons at my disposal. First: yoga. There are poses for literally anything, including those that help alleviate anger and sadness. Nobody can claim they don’t have ten minutes a day to practice some poses. As a lovely side effect, one gets more limber and experiences much less back and knee pain (for example).

Second: meditation. It’s hard to remember when in the middle of an anxiety attack, but focused breathing exercises actually do help calm you down. I enjoy being calm. Aside from keeping the inner spark lit, meditation also helps me stay organized throughout the day.

Third: St. John’s Wort. I’ve never given this a try but I’m willing to, after those last couple of weeks. As with all natural remedies, one must take St. John’s Wort regularly for several weeks before a noticeable effect occurs. If you are on birth control pills, you should not take St. John’s Wort, as it can interfere with the hormones.

Finally: on those days where the sun peeks out, I’m going to make more of an effort to actually spend some time in it, i.e. outside.

For all of you who actually read this blog occasionally, please be aware that during periods where I seem to disappear for any length of time, I may be busy clawing my way out of the hole.


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